B"H
Cheshvan 15, 5766 * November 17, 2005
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F O R F R I D A Y N I G H T
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Parshat Vayeira
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Humility and Kindness
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One of the most famous statements made by Abraham is included in the Sedra [1]. While pleading with G-d on behalf of the inhabitants of Sodom, Abraham declared: “I am dust and ashes” [2]. These words are an expression of total humility before G-d. Abraham was saying that G-d is boundless, eternal, infinite. In comparison, what am I, a limited human being? Dust and ashes - if that!
This deep sense of humility before G-d also affected the way Abraham thought of himself in relation to other people, which was expressed in the way he behaved towards them. Here we see another quality for which Abraham and his wife Sarah were famous: kindness and generosity.
There are two types of generosity. One is a product of a sense of power. The powerful individual sees himself as exalted above other, ordinary mortals, and expresses his superiority through generous benevolence to all around.
In itself this might seem praiseworthy. After all, he is generously helping people. However, there is also a danger. In the course of time this sense of superiority may take a less positive form. One may fall into the trap of exhibiting a negative variety of ‘giving’ which exists only to show off one's own might.
By contrast, the second sort of generosity is the product of humility. However powerful the person might be in objective terms, somehow he sees the greatness and worth in every other person. He sees their wellbeing, both physical and spiritual, as more important than his own comfort. Consequently he is ready to do whatever he can to help those around him. He will do this despite the cost to himself.
The kindness of Abraham and Sarah is of this second type. At the beginning of the Sedra we see them going to great trouble to provide refreshing food and drink for people whom they thought to be ordinary travelers, idol-worshippers. Abraham did this despite the fact that he was recovering from being circumcised, three days before. His humility, the fact that he viewed himself as “dust and ashes”, made him become totally dedicated in his concern to help others. This is the path to true happiness [3].
Double Perspective
Humility is a very positive quality, which often helps us deal with difficult situations in life. At the same time there is a seemingly contrary demand: we need to be able to stand up for our values and beliefs, we must be fearlessly courageous in fighting for what is right.
True humility does not mean that a person is a pushover, a weak character. It means that the person’s own ‘self’ is in the background. One can fight for what is good and true, one can be totally dedicated to achieving life and success for one’s loved ones, for one’s community, for the Jewish people, for humanity, always having in mind something higher than one’s own self.
Indeed, genuine humility has a purpose, which takes it beyond giving the individual the accolade of being very ‘humble’. The purpose is to make this world a dwelling for the Divine. This purpose is higher than one’s own material benefit, and also possibly even higher than one’s own spiritual benefit [4]. This kind of humility and dedication makes one act as a true son or daughter of Abraham, battling selflessly to change the world.
Footnotes:
1. Genesis chs.18-22.
2. Gen. 18:27.
3. Based on the Lubavitcher Rebbe's Likkutei Sichot vo1.25 p.80.
4. See Tanya Part 1 ch.10, 15b.
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